You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
