I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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