happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
