Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
