If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
