We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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