Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
