I have demons in me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
