Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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