You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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