dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
