You really coming over, don't trick.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
