I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
