Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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