In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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