look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
