Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
