Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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