we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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