is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
