i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize