look no pants
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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