I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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