Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
