Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
