one two three fourrrrnication!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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