went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
