We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
