Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
