i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
