repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The air was thick with penises
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
