its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize