I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The air was thick with penises
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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