i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the condom got lost in my hair
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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