big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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