piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's always time for handjobs
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't deserve a penis
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
