I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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