I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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