He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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