Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
