I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
