Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She's the barista slut.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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