if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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