Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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