Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize