this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
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I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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