I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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