He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
