whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
