Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
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The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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