I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
