Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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