i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
