My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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