maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
