Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
