If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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