Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
